My Crazy Friday Night…Ha

I realize I’m really boring for a 22 year old. Tonight, as I have my exercise band thing around my thighs and opening my legs to getting ready for some action, haha jk I’m stretching out my tendon because I have tendinitis, I’m full on cyber creeping. My friends ex randomly liked one of her photos of her and her now boyfriend. We remembered he had a tumblr that he occasionally has posted on about her. Through some archives and likes of other people’s likes, we found him. He hasn’t posted anything for over a year, but we did find out her other ex has written stuff about her. Needless to say, we should be detectives. 

Sadly, we are only good at creeping on people because we knew my ex was up to shady shit and were trying to catch him on it. But all that has paid off, obviously.

Little Maine Girl On The Move

These may be shitty pictures, but I have once again left vactionland so a short adventure. While I always love seeing this bridge and leaving Maine behind, the feeling of peace when I pass back over it is just as nice. It’s like an instant feel of relief to be home. Also the sunset is gorgeous tonight, but I’m in the backseat and the opposite side so I can’t get a good photo of it.

Me Too 

I’ve debated about posting this, but decided I need to. 

Me too.

Forever I told myself it was my fault. Since I gave in, it was on me, not him. 

Now I see this isn’t true. When I said no, that shouldn’t have been enough. When he told me yes. I should have left and never talked to him again. But I was scared if him. So eventually I let him do whatever to me, knowing that I couldn’t stop him and it could be worse if I didn’t give in. He hurt me. I didn’t trust males for a long time, sometimes things still make me uncomfortable. Up until a year ago I still couldn’t stand within arms distance from a guy without feeling nervous. Still some touch makes me uncomfortable. I try to tell myself they aren’t all the same. I really know they aren’t. It’s just scary to me still. 

I’ve felt guilty so long about what he had me do and did to me. But I shouldn’t feel guilty. It’s him who is at fault not me. It is society’s fault for making me feel guilty.