I’m having a lot of anxiety today because I need it to be tomorrow. I see a doctor in sports medicine tomorrow and hopefully will find out why I have chronic pain. I’ve had pain in my hip and knee since I was a child and was always told it was fine. It’s not fine. A 22 year old shouldn’t have their knee crack when they move or have to stop doing something because of the intense pain radiating throughout my hip, let alone having it at 14 like I did. The muscle spasms and pain is just too much. I’m excited to hopefully find out what’s wrong, but at the same time worried about it. I’m basically going to be a wreck until I get there tomorrow morning.
I haven’t consumed caffeine in months. It’s been easy, until lately: the smell of coffee has made it so hard to resist. I don’t miss the energy coffee gave me, I miss the taste. I’ve almost caved a few times, but have held myself back. I finally bought decaf.
Today I had physical therapy. It started off a little weird when my physical therapist strapped a gait belt around her and I. It got weirder when she spent the next half hour touching my ass. I got a little concerned when she told me to lay on my stomach and started pulling my shorts down. She was going to put kinsotherapy tape on me, but didn’t say that until after.
I’m sick of being in pain. It hurts to stand. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. It hurts to lay down. It’s constant pain and I’m at my breaking point.
This time of year the vaccine hate really seems to come at full force. The flu shot is looked at as the devil by a lot of people I am friends with on facebook. This are the same people who whine over every little sniffle they get, not to mention the post after post when they have the flu. Everyday is a struggle to not lose my shit on these people. They also are ignorant little fucks so I have to stay calm about almost everything they post. Why am I still friends with them you ask? I slowly am weeding them out.
I really just hate the people from where I am from.
Anyways, they can take their fake news and die a painful death from the measles because we know that will be coming back in full force thanks to their anti-vaccine mindset.
After some thought, I think I’m going to go kinda vegan. I want my dairy, so that’s the kinda part. I think it will be best for me and so far I think the foods I have bought. This may only last a week, we’ll see.
Also, I got my flu shot and has my tetanus shot yesterday and both of my arms hurt really bad from them. So there’s that.
What fun do I get to have today? Oh, you know, just getting a scope shoved down my throat. I am clearly going to have a great day. The fun you can have after having your gallbladder removed.